Dystopian Future Slang: “Decon Holding Bay” – Or – How I FINALLY Bought Melancholy And The Infinite Sadness

As I returned from the mailbox last week I suddenly stopped and looked at what I was holding. I realized just how sucky it would be to get COVID-19 from a bank flyer or a “current addressee” piece of junk mail.

We are “Safer At Home” and now have set up a table in the garage for incoming groceries, and packages. 

Yep, the Decontamination Holding Bay. 

My son had a new monitor delivered and (though the mail person indicated that all packages were sprayed) we gingerly removed it from the packaging touching as little as possible and only brought in the monitor and the cords themselves. We left the packaging to give whatever may be on it, hopefully nothing, time to die and stay outside. It’s a weird time to say the least, but we are doing our best to stay safe and healthy.

This is relevant to music HOW? you ask yourself?

I’ll tell you.

In the 2nd week of working from home I may have traveled a few mental roads and I will be the first to admit I have done some self soothing. I got some comic book digital files (I have officially decided to be a digital comic reader rather than collect the print versions – thanks for forcing my hand on that one Pandemic) and a Tablet (to read them on) and yesterday I was suddenly presented with the opportunity to buy an expensive (to me at least) vinyl album.

My lovely wife had notions of buying this album for me for Valentine’s Day but reported to me afterwards that she couldn’t find it for less than $120. She loves me… but… no way.

The album. Smashing Pumpkins – Melancholy And The Infinite Sadness.

This is the CD cover, and the way I know it. Though I do have a white and gray vinyl bootleg called “Chicago Tapes And Unreleased Demos” that has a tauntingly close cover.

In the past I have had my finger on the button to purchase this album for ~75 bucks… and could never bring myself to actually buy it. I waffled on whether it was responsible to spend that much on an album. Even a Smashing Pumpkins album. Up to that point, a bootleg copy of “Naked City” a John Zorn band, which I paid about $40 for was the most expensive vinyl purchase I had ever made.

On three separate occasions I charged into the record store and vowed that if they had it in the new bin I was going to buy it. My mind was made up. This was IT. I marched up to the S bin and flip flip flip… not there. Sigh.

When last I checked it out online it was about 75 bucks. Based on what Cindy told me though I had to look. Indeed she was right, the only copy on Amazon was over a hundred and E-Bay had them the same and even higher. Not only did I not ever find it when I was willing to spend the money, now it seemed I had missed my chance. Double bummer.

That was the state of affairs when (curse you internet) an e-mail alert, obviously related to my recent searches came up touting the album for the lower price again.

Was I weak? Was this frivolous?… or was this just what I needed in a dreary COVID-19 laced terrible week? I pushed the button.

So, it’s on it’s way! I did it.

As I sat and pondered it’s coming delivery on Saturday I suddenly had a vision of it sitting sad and lonely on the Decon Holding Bay table. Wah wah…

If I am reading all the updated info correctly, once I get it and retrieve it from the porch I can add it to the table.

48 hours later I can open the box and HOPE that it is not in another box inside that one.

72 hours for the plastic wrapping if I’m being safe, although that will only be another 24 hours from it’s unboxing.

That means if I get it on Saturday, I will be able to open and play it safely Tuesday. I suspect that this may be overkill, but in these crazy times, am I willing to take a chance just to listen to “Porcelina Of The Vast Oceans”?

I waited 25 years.

I can wait a few more days.

This album is worth it and I am stoked to finally own it.

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1 Comment

  1. Thanks for being a safety guy, my love.

    You can light all the patchouli incense you want (in your music room) the evening if your actual unboxing. ❤️

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